My Days with her. (3)

Day one hundred and eighty two......


of course there were ups and downs 
i got depressed so many times 
but what always kept me going was that spark 
i mean i was that lucky to get close to her,
why wouldn't i be a little more luckier and somehow we might end up together 
i knew that i was day dreaming again 
but i was happy 
then i made a promise that i couldn't keep
i thought that luck was on my side 
i did every thing that i could possibly do 
but ehh simply it wasn't enough 
i felt weak and miserable
that i could never make happy or that she hates me now 
it was a rough day for me
i just wanted to make her happy thats all 
that would've made me happy
but i guess god doesn't want me near happy........
for now i hope  
and that was day one hundred and eighty two...
  

One more kiss.....

Just one more kiss before i say goodbye ?

It's the last thing I'd do before i say goodbye 

So hold me tight in your arms, as the tears fall straight from my eyes  

Is it over yet? Are you just passing by?

How i feel when my eye meets your eye 

Wishing that someday you would be mine

But you were never mine

It's the truth that i keep inside a lie 

You found a heart and I lost mine

Maybe it's the truth i want to deny ?

Or is it just the perfect lie

Do i have to remember who am I ?

A lonely soul, begging for mercy asking God why?

Do i have to live this life with this aching heart of mine 

Will i ever die ?

Or is it just an endless torture to this broken soul of mine

I'll just sleep and dream of a better day, it's a truth that i can't deny 

I just want the sun to rise and your face to shine 

On this misery of mine 

My Days with her. (2)

day twenty one...

its been a while now and i think that we are heading for something good here
we understand each other, we liked talking to each other and the laughs and the talks and bla bla bla 
life was good 
i knew i never loved someone that much in my life...
it was great to feel "love"
i spent every moment wish that i could just hold her tight in my arms, so close to my heart that i can never miss a single heart beat without her
but i was always wondering inside of me 
always knew that something was wrong 
something wrong is going to happen cause honestly life wasn't that fair with me 
but as long as i was happy i didn't bother my self about it 
i just kept day dreaming 
when something great happened 
i was amazed how she handled, she was so calm and she was laughing like she had nothing to lose in this world 
but she owned every thing i had   
i loved the sound of her voice that night 
it was like a heavy burden was off her chest 
she was happy 
and so was i 
the spark got brighter as my hope that somehow we might be together got stronger 
that was day twenty one... 

My Days with her.

day one...


It was a very normal day every one is everywhere doing normal things
she was doing the same as every one, which was being normal 
it wasn't the first time i see her being normal 
but in my version.....i saw a whole lots of awesomeness going around the place 
it was new for me to see anything like that i haven't really been seeing  a lot of stuff lately 
then it happened.......
and of course you know drill
the red face, dilated eyes, the rush of blood to the brain, the fire that spreads in your body 
the dry throat and your heart start pumping like its gone wild 
i knew that it was foolish of me to fall in love from first sight 
ironically i always believed in that
but i knew that my luck wont go that far
so i was back to my day dreaming as usual......
but for god knows what reason i was the luckiest man in the world 
for two minutes 
we talked........... it was a hit and run conversation 
but i loved those moments 
and thats where it all started 
how this little spark of hope was ignited
that was day one...

Father Green.....

Everyone has something to say, something to confess.....
a heavy burden on their chests crushing their souls every second, they keep it hidden deep down inside
it's hard to live with that kind of weight on your chest, and its a relief to share that burden with someone else
someone you trust, someone who can share the pain with you, someone who truly is gonna care for you
that's how every one saw Father Green
a loving, caring, trustworthy person
he always cared for other people and their problems concerned him
he truly cared, not because its his job as a saint but because its whom he really is
it never bothered him all those secrets he kept safe and how he comforted them, gave them hope in god
that's how it was
every day....... comforting people he doesn't recognise
he always asked himself has anyone ever wondered has he ever confessed to anyone before ?
is he a sinner?
does he has any secrets of his own?
is he ........ feeling alright?
when you care too much people talk to you cause they're look for someone to make them feel alright
because they do realize how hard it is to find someone how could actually care about it
someone whom his job is to listen to people's problems as they ask for forgiveness from him
how it makes you feel kind of special ......... a bit powerful
but also so lonely
because no one is gonna ask Father Green if he is feeling alright
he is the only one who ever cared
all those lonely secrets in his head
no one to talk to but himself
it took so much time to fill Father Green with secrets, that he couldn't take it no more
so one day he wasn't there
to listen to them
he died with all his secrets
its funny when you are dead how people start to listen

after all you worth so much more when you're a goner

Songs

Lost in the echo of a whisper in the dark looking for somewhere i belong
Broken and by myself at the edge of the earth
Oh love time is running out so just give me a sign and I'll follow the fireflies to the stairway to heaven
And if I'm gonna lose you then it's time
I'll kiss you goodbye as i feel the sound of your heartbeat
Maybe it's a late goodbye but forgive me cause I was lost in you
We were meant to live for so much more but you were never mine my dear
Oh dear the end draws near
It's sad but true you had to go
And I'm sorry because i had to
I you only knew how much i miss you

In a sweet voice...

"OH you silly goose, you're the best thing that ever happened to me"

 That's all what i remember from all these years 

the moment when we first met , our song , her last name and..... almost her face 

I can't really say if i choose not to remember or have i really forgotten all about her  but how can i? i mean i loved her so much that i cherished every moment we spent together 

it all faded away like a winter's breeze......... you never see it coming but you feel how much it hurts you when it freezes your soul

i loved it when you made me feel special when you talked to me whenever you needed me 

or all those times when we sang together and you kept teasing me how bad was my voice

how you sang to me...... in a sweet voice 

  all the laughs and and tears we had together 

you don't know how hard it was to keep all my feelings kept away in a dark place underneath my cold skin

how your heart always ignites the deepest broken heart

how you make everything feels so right 

how you see this world in a different colorful way

where there are no hurricanes, no monsters underneath my bed, no darkness to fear, no clouds to block the sunshine from touching your face and no nightmares to keep me from dreaming  

with that insane look in your eyes how you love every thing in this life 

all of this made you sound so crazy 

but also so right

and thats why i loved you 

you made everything so beautiful and bright 

by the time i realized that all of this wasnt a dream............ you were gone 

you were still so young and beautiful 

oh how i wish all of this was a bad dream

i laughed one last time at the place where you died and i remembered 

"?when was ever life that fair to anyone" 

       i guess i never wanted to remember how beautiful it was to be with her 

im used to how dark it is here 

.....i guess i remember all of it after all